Story time!

I donated a pint of blood today and I feel slightly light-headed.

....So here are some funnies. Enjoy!

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
NOW --------
Enough of that crap .

The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON: When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

Blonde Jokes (No offense to blondes!):

1)How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?-Answer appears at the end

2)Why did the blonde have bruises around her belly button?-Answer appears at end

Two blondes were coming out of the mall and walking to their car. When they got there, they realized they had locked the keys in the car. Suddenly, a roar of thunder was heard and it began to rain. One of the blondes said "Oh no! The car will be ruined! It's raining and the top's down!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were driving in the desert when the car broke down. Since it was a good few miles to a main road, they each decided to bring something along the way to keep them cool. The redhead said, "Well, I brought a fan. If I get hot I can turn it on and cool off." The brunette said, "I brought a bucket of cold water, if I get hot I can drink some or pour some on myself." The blonde said, "I brought the car door. If I get hot I can just roll down the window."

Answers:

1) She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil

2) Her boyfriend is blonde too

Ah yes, everyone have a good laugh

Quote of the day:

*Earlier today, during Pippin rehearsal, I accidentally said "Pimpin" (which sounds like pimping) instead of "Pippin." So then later...

Ashley: This is the part where ya'll are sowing (meaning sowing seeds in a field), right?

Me: No, we're hoeing (meaning using a hoe in a garden type area)

Burt (our Pippin): Yeah, and I'm pimpin!