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May. 19th, 2007 01:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sondheimmcgeekLast night I attended the 8:30 showing of Shrek the Third with Emily and her friend Keith. Prior to the film, we were treated to some interesting previews:
Nancy Drew (aka The Baby-Sitters Club meets Encyclopedia Brown)
Surf's Up (aka not just another fucking penguin movie, but a fucking penguin movie with a pot smoking chicken)
Ratatouille (aka Mouse Hunt meets Shark Tale)
Evan Almighty (aka "Have any of these people actually read the Bible?")
Transformers (aka "Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?")
A Bee Movie (aka a remake of Antz only now using bees)
Hot Rod (aka Napoleon Dynamite meets Jackass)
There shouldn't be any huge spoilers, but just in case...
So the films opens and we see Prince Charming (PC) riding a horse and talking about saving a fair maiden. The camera pulls back and we see that he is actually on a hobby horse on stage while a painted scene behind him moves, giving the illusion that he's actually riding off on a horse. Scene cuts to gnome or whatnot clicking coconuts together.
Me:Bwahaha...*realizes no one else in the theater is laughing. Feels uncomfortable, not because she was the only one to laugh, but because in a packed AMC theater, not a SINGLE OTHER PERSON GOT THAT FUCKING REFERENCE*
So we learn that PC has been doing dinner theater since we last saw him. There was actually a great theater reference somewhere in there (from Gingie) but for the life of me I can't remember what it was.
Anywho, PC decides he wants revenge. He also finds out that the king has been sick and Shrek is filling in for him. Cut to amusing montage of Shrek filling in for the King and failing.
Then the king is dying and telling Shrek he's next in line for the throne.
Me: *in my head* Hey! I just remembered John Cleese is the voice of the king! This makes the earlier BLATANT MONTY PYTHON REFERENCE even funnier.
So Shrek doesn't want to be king and is told the only other heir is some kid named Artie and that Shrek must find him. And then the king dies.
So it seems the Shrek franchise is no longer going after Disney/Brothers Grimm (depending on which way you want to look at the references of the past two films) but have now set their sights on Arthurian legend. Woot!
As Shrek, Donkey, and Puss are sailing off, Fiona shouts to Shrek that she's pregnant (surprise? Not really). Shrek is less than excited. He has an acid trip of a dream in which Fiona has given birth to 1000+ baby ogres. He admits he is afraid of being a bad father.
Meanwhile, PC has gone to The Poison Apple and convinced the villains they should help him defeat Shrek and take over Far, Far, Away (FFA).
Shrek and Co. arrive at their destination, which turns out to be a high school of sorts. They ask where Artie is. Someone points to a jousting field where they see a macho jouster all but impale a nerdy jouster. Shrek figures the macho jouster ("Artie") would make a great king.
Me: *in my head* Wait...he's not Arthur! The nerdy one is!
Indeed I was correct. Artie was the wimp and Lancelot was the macho guy. Shrek tells him he's next in line to be king (leaving out the fact that Shrek is actually next in line, he just doesn't want it). So Artie leaves after a speech about how picking on nerds is wrong and after declaring his love to Guenevere (who is never seen again).
Meanwhile, Fiona and her mother are at baby shower with Dragon, Pinocchio, Gingie, the Wolf, the three little pigs, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Rapunzel, and the Ugly Stepsister from Shrek 2 (why "she" isn't with the other villains, ya got me). Of course Cinderella is a neat freak and Sleeping Beauty is narcoleptic. Snow White was the Queen Bee sort, and admittedly it took me a while to completely understand why, when the other two were so obvious (here's a hint: "Fairest of them all"). Rapunzel is really nondescript, minus a crack about hair extensions. But all seems fine until *gasp* they hear a commotion outside and see PC and the other villains flying into the Kingdom. The women (minus Dragon) manage to escape into a secret passage. The others are caught by PC and Co and they let it slip that Shrek has gone off to bring back the new heir of FFA.
Back to Shrek and Co, all is smooth sailing, until Artie has an anxiety attack and they end up shipwrecked. They stumble upon Merlin (who was originally a teacher at Artie's school, until he had a nervous breakdown) and he agrees to help them. He gets them to FFA, but in the process Donkey and Puss switch bodies. Also, at some point between all of this, Shrek and Artie bond.
Meanwhile, with the Princess Brigade (PB), Rapunzel has double crossed her "friends" and they've been locked up. Shrek is captured. Artie is about to be killed, but Shrek saves him by telling PC that Artie isn't next in line to be king, Shrek is. Artie leaves (because Shrek lied to him). Shrek is set to be killed in PC's musical that night and Donkey and Puss are thrown in jail with PB. They realize it's up to them. The three Disney/Brothers Grimm princesses "assume the positions" and wait for their princes to arrive. Fiona's mother breaks down two walls with her head. It's actually pretty awesome.
To get into the castle, Snow White sings, summoning the forest animals, who she then turns on the guards. Cinderella chucks her newly sharpened glass slipper at them. Sleeping Beauty falls asleep as the guards run toward them and trips them.
We see PC's musical already has started, staring him as himself, Rapunzel as the damsel in distress, and Shrek as the ogre. Just as Shrek is about to be killed, PB and the other fairytale creatures arrive to save the day. All seems hopeful until the villains attack. Then Artie swings in to save the day, merely by telling the villains they don't have to be villains, they can be whomever they want, no matter what other people think. They have all learned a valuable lesson. Well, except for PC who goes after Artie with a sword (which Shrek gets in the way of). Don't worry, he's not hurt. Apparently PC has horrible aim. PC is defeated and Artie takes his place as king.
Shrek and Fiona return to the swamp with three baby ogres. End credits.
By the way, this film has the weirdest end credits ever.
Also, when the hell did movie theaters become a baby-sitting service. I can't tell you how many kids we had in the theater crying. Also, why the hell didn't their parents do anything? If the baby is crying, take him out of the theater. It's not that difficult of a concept...
All in all, this film was enjoyable. Of course, it wasn't as good as either of its predecessors, but it still managed to be somewhat fresh and original, especially being the third film in a series. On my "*gigglesnort* - O-Meter" I'd give this film a 4.2 out of 5.
Nancy Drew (aka The Baby-Sitters Club meets Encyclopedia Brown)
Surf's Up (aka not just another fucking penguin movie, but a fucking penguin movie with a pot smoking chicken)
Ratatouille (aka Mouse Hunt meets Shark Tale)
Evan Almighty (aka "Have any of these people actually read the Bible?")
Transformers (aka "Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?")
A Bee Movie (aka a remake of Antz only now using bees)
Hot Rod (aka Napoleon Dynamite meets Jackass)
There shouldn't be any huge spoilers, but just in case...
So the films opens and we see Prince Charming (PC) riding a horse and talking about saving a fair maiden. The camera pulls back and we see that he is actually on a hobby horse on stage while a painted scene behind him moves, giving the illusion that he's actually riding off on a horse. Scene cuts to gnome or whatnot clicking coconuts together.
Me:Bwahaha...*realizes no one else in the theater is laughing. Feels uncomfortable, not because she was the only one to laugh, but because in a packed AMC theater, not a SINGLE OTHER PERSON GOT THAT FUCKING REFERENCE*
So we learn that PC has been doing dinner theater since we last saw him. There was actually a great theater reference somewhere in there (from Gingie) but for the life of me I can't remember what it was.
Anywho, PC decides he wants revenge. He also finds out that the king has been sick and Shrek is filling in for him. Cut to amusing montage of Shrek filling in for the King and failing.
Then the king is dying and telling Shrek he's next in line for the throne.
Me: *in my head* Hey! I just remembered John Cleese is the voice of the king! This makes the earlier BLATANT MONTY PYTHON REFERENCE even funnier.
So Shrek doesn't want to be king and is told the only other heir is some kid named Artie and that Shrek must find him. And then the king dies.
So it seems the Shrek franchise is no longer going after Disney/Brothers Grimm (depending on which way you want to look at the references of the past two films) but have now set their sights on Arthurian legend. Woot!
As Shrek, Donkey, and Puss are sailing off, Fiona shouts to Shrek that she's pregnant (surprise? Not really). Shrek is less than excited. He has an acid trip of a dream in which Fiona has given birth to 1000+ baby ogres. He admits he is afraid of being a bad father.
Meanwhile, PC has gone to The Poison Apple and convinced the villains they should help him defeat Shrek and take over Far, Far, Away (FFA).
Shrek and Co. arrive at their destination, which turns out to be a high school of sorts. They ask where Artie is. Someone points to a jousting field where they see a macho jouster all but impale a nerdy jouster. Shrek figures the macho jouster ("Artie") would make a great king.
Me: *in my head* Wait...he's not Arthur! The nerdy one is!
Indeed I was correct. Artie was the wimp and Lancelot was the macho guy. Shrek tells him he's next in line to be king (leaving out the fact that Shrek is actually next in line, he just doesn't want it). So Artie leaves after a speech about how picking on nerds is wrong and after declaring his love to Guenevere (who is never seen again).
Meanwhile, Fiona and her mother are at baby shower with Dragon, Pinocchio, Gingie, the Wolf, the three little pigs, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Rapunzel, and the Ugly Stepsister from Shrek 2 (why "she" isn't with the other villains, ya got me). Of course Cinderella is a neat freak and Sleeping Beauty is narcoleptic. Snow White was the Queen Bee sort, and admittedly it took me a while to completely understand why, when the other two were so obvious (here's a hint: "Fairest of them all"). Rapunzel is really nondescript, minus a crack about hair extensions. But all seems fine until *gasp* they hear a commotion outside and see PC and the other villains flying into the Kingdom. The women (minus Dragon) manage to escape into a secret passage. The others are caught by PC and Co and they let it slip that Shrek has gone off to bring back the new heir of FFA.
Back to Shrek and Co, all is smooth sailing, until Artie has an anxiety attack and they end up shipwrecked. They stumble upon Merlin (who was originally a teacher at Artie's school, until he had a nervous breakdown) and he agrees to help them. He gets them to FFA, but in the process Donkey and Puss switch bodies. Also, at some point between all of this, Shrek and Artie bond.
Meanwhile, with the Princess Brigade (PB), Rapunzel has double crossed her "friends" and they've been locked up. Shrek is captured. Artie is about to be killed, but Shrek saves him by telling PC that Artie isn't next in line to be king, Shrek is. Artie leaves (because Shrek lied to him). Shrek is set to be killed in PC's musical that night and Donkey and Puss are thrown in jail with PB. They realize it's up to them. The three Disney/Brothers Grimm princesses "assume the positions" and wait for their princes to arrive. Fiona's mother breaks down two walls with her head. It's actually pretty awesome.
To get into the castle, Snow White sings, summoning the forest animals, who she then turns on the guards. Cinderella chucks her newly sharpened glass slipper at them. Sleeping Beauty falls asleep as the guards run toward them and trips them.
We see PC's musical already has started, staring him as himself, Rapunzel as the damsel in distress, and Shrek as the ogre. Just as Shrek is about to be killed, PB and the other fairytale creatures arrive to save the day. All seems hopeful until the villains attack. Then Artie swings in to save the day, merely by telling the villains they don't have to be villains, they can be whomever they want, no matter what other people think. They have all learned a valuable lesson. Well, except for PC who goes after Artie with a sword (which Shrek gets in the way of). Don't worry, he's not hurt. Apparently PC has horrible aim. PC is defeated and Artie takes his place as king.
Shrek and Fiona return to the swamp with three baby ogres. End credits.
By the way, this film has the weirdest end credits ever.
Also, when the hell did movie theaters become a baby-sitting service. I can't tell you how many kids we had in the theater crying. Also, why the hell didn't their parents do anything? If the baby is crying, take him out of the theater. It's not that difficult of a concept...
All in all, this film was enjoyable. Of course, it wasn't as good as either of its predecessors, but it still managed to be somewhat fresh and original, especially being the third film in a series. On my "*gigglesnort* - O-Meter" I'd give this film a 4.2 out of 5.
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Date: 2007-05-19 08:24 pm (UTC)And who the hell would want to make a movie like Antz? Antz sucked. SO MUCH. A Bug's Life>Antz
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Date: 2007-05-19 09:47 pm (UTC)But dude, you missed the best part: ERIC IDLE PLAYED MERLIN!
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Date: 2007-05-19 10:58 pm (UTC)